Grace, Eye MD

It’s about 48 hours till I turn 32.  And I can’t help but reflect on what I’ve done so far with my life.  When I turned 28 a few years ago, I went into depression.  At that time, I was ending my first year of residency in Ophthalmology.  I felt that I was nowhere near what I had wanted to become, and everything I wanted to achieve was so far off.  My high school friends were holding middle-management jobs, some were done with their MBA, they had their own cars and fat bank accounts.  A huge part of the depression, I guess, came from the fact that Mama married at 28, and had me when she was 29.  I felt that getting married and having a family was so far away, because I had to finish my training before I even did that.   In fact, I didn’t even want to get married till I got my training out of the way! A couple of months before my birthday, Sam made a grand re-entry into my life (I first met him when we were magka-duty sa ER—he was the Trauma first year and I was his intern). By the time my birthday came, around, I did not know it, but my mind was pretty messed up. I think, subconsciously, I was so confused because he gave me an alternative idea of what my life could be, as opposed to what I thought (or maybe resigned) it would be.  This was a bit too much to handle for me, for someone who liked making plans and disliked their disruption! I have to admit, though, that the thought of ending up with him, though taboo at that time, was something I found very appealing and painful at the same time. Appealing because he was everything I knew I wanted; but painful because I didn’t think it could happen.

So, I’m turning 32, and all my dreams and goals seem to be within reach.  I’m finishing my second Glaucoma fellowship here in Singapore under a world-renowned Glaucoma god.  I’m eager to start private practice once I return.  Sam and I are getting married next year. I think, for once, my personal life and career will be on equal footing. I won’t need to give up my weekends with family because of exams, department activities and whatnot. All the blood, sweat and tears shed all these years are finally paying off.  I am finally getting on with my life