I picked a fight with an old lady in Baclaran last Wednesday. Evil, evil old lady. Before going to the novena mass with Mama, we dropped by one of the malls and I went to the washroom. The washroom had a toilet with a real doorknob, not one of those which you just turn and a green/red color would indicate if it was occupied.
Anyway, the door was closed. So, I knocked briefly to check if there was someone inside (I hate it when I’m peeing and someone twists the knob without knocking first). The person inside said, “May tao! Kaya nga naka-lock e!” in a really irritated tone. So, deadma, I just washed my hands and waited for her to finish. Another lady comes in and uses the sink (na friend niya pala). A couple of moments later, the lady in the toilet comes out (she was in her 60’s, very dark, had a bad perm and was wearing a horrid olive green blouse and black cut-offs—in other words, she was panget) muttering loudly that, ”Kaya nga naka-lock, ibig sabihin may tao!” I was in the middle of retouching my lipstick, but I couldn’t stand it, so I retorted, “Pag nakasara lang po ang door, hindi alam kung naka-lock o hindi!” (which made sense, because a closed door isn’t always locked, right?”) But she kept on saying,”Kaya nga naka-lock e! E kung walang tao, di naka-OFEN!” Ay, punyeta, I didn’t know if I was going to laugh at her face or strangle her with that “OFEN” thing (but I did realize that she really pronounced it that way)!!! She kept on muttering loudly, and I kept answering back, and my Tagalog was nababaluktot na, dahil I obviously argue better in English. So, maldita me, with all my inis/rage and suppressed inhibitory center, kept arguing back,” Bakit, naabala ba kayo sa katok? Mas good manners po yung kumakatok muna bago buksan and pinto! At hindi po “OFEN”! OPEN!” and went inside the toilet to pee. Ay punyeta, I wanted to ask what mababang paaralan she learned her English from, but decided that it was waaay too evil! Hehehe! See, I’m still nice! I was so inis, but I heard her friend tell her, “E kasi, ako talagang kumakatok muna ako bago buksan ang pinto e”. That shut up the ugly old lady in green! Paglabas ko, she couldn’t look at me while I was washing my hands. Bruha talaga!
When she left, I looked in the mirror and realized that my lipstick was smudged and not completely put on pa pala! I think in my rage I forgot to finish putting it on!!! Buti nalang maganda ako that day kahit smudged ang lipstick ko! Hahaha! Haaaay, I stormed back to Mama and she was laughing, and said pati daw yung “Ofen” pinatulan ko! I ranted about it to Sam and he said,”You know, ikaw lang ang alam kong pumupunta sa Baclaran para magsimba, tapos nakikipag-away pa.” Hello, para naming magpapatalo ako if I knew I was right. Di hindi ako nakatulog if I let that pass! I can’t even remember the last time I was really pissed and picked a fight with a stranger!
Anyway, I hope I see her again next Wednesday and tell her, “O ayan po, OFEN yung door, walang tao, knock yourself out!!!” Hahahaha!!!
